Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
