I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
