u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
