I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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