We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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