Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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