Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize