Pappa wants mamma naked
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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