I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
