Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
