Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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