Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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