You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
