I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
