You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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