Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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