Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I need a burrito and a hug.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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