No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
