Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize