i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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