I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
