just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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