Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
