Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you didnt know i had herpes?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize