this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
