im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
