When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize