I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize