Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
