i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
