loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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