Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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