i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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