i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
