I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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