Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
