He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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