We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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