Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
