never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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