Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
