oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
