WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
