I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
