How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize