I have demons in me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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