You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
