just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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