I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
