R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize