Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We're too hungover to prance.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
