3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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