Non-Jews are for practice
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
