i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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