do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
our cab driver is having phone sex.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
