He uses pillows to masturbate.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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