You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
