We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
