It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
