I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
