It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
