How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
