and you said cock pushups were impossible
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
