Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize