i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
